Chances are...

Once in our lives we are given one chance…one single chance to change the rest of our lives forever. Some people eagerly accepts this chance, some hesitate. Some don’t see it pass and some just totally blind. Once you learn how to identify these chances in life, you will see that its just everywhere, whispering like a gush of wind to our ears, touching us every second in different ways.

I had a chance once that passed my way…I hesitated at first but then I realized it’s the thing that would change my life forever. After a while of thinking, I finally grabbed it…and I was right, it was not a very easy decision but I did it and it totally changed my life. I love what has become of me. I love what influence I gave to people, how I changed their perceptions and how they connected to mine.
I was given an offer in 2001 to be the secretary of the President of the company where I worked with before. I accepted the offer, they processed my paper, but something undeniably scandalous happened at work. Charlie’s Angels walked their ways through things. I would not tell the details anymore but with this incident, I finally realized who my TRUE friends are. I knew who would stand on my side if ever something goes wrong. And so as a consequence, my VISA to US was cancelled. But this is not the one chance I was talking about.

After a few months, I was given an offer again to train for 3 months in San Francisco under the same company. I accepted and was there after a few months.

No one would ever forget San Francisco. No one who has met a beautiful life there would ever trade the memories with something else.

I had those unforgettable moments in San Francisco…and here comes the chance I am talking about. I met a very wonderful person, with a big heart and a warm soul. He loves every detail of who I am and how I am. And I love him as much as I enjoy every breath I take. Every word he says lingers in my mind, every glimpse in his eyes make me realize how wonderful life is.

I met him at work. You know, co-workers relationship saying hi to each other, good mornings and see yahs. The only difference is we work in the same team, you know this company team policy made up of researchers and account managers, so like what I said, we were in the same team. So when we saw each other during my first day of San Francisco city work…we went out for lunch with a couple of friends and talked about how it is in Manila dah-dah-dah. One thing fascinated me though, he is a person who really makes anybody feel interesting. He talks to me as though he really wants to know everything about me in 1 day. And that gives me a smile on my face that says, Hey Neri! See, this person really is interested with what you do and with who you are. He is not a You-talk-I-pretend-to-listen-person. He really digests and remembers every single thing I say. Incredible isn't he?

I still remember us walking through the busy Embarcadero Pier. Eating our lunch in the park and talking about what we do when do things. Suddenly I can't get enough of his stories anymore. I became addicted with his words and has totally indulged myself into the sweetness that he posseses.

We started going out after office to enjoy the city and the beautiful San Francisco weather more than a couple of times. I loved it, I loved very single moment of it. It feels like a dream to me…a fantasy.

And one day I decided to put a stop to this fantasy world that we were both into. After a few months I would be going back to Manila anyway, facing the same people, doing the same routine from morning till I fall asleep, dealing with the same problems all over again…I would not want to be staring into the sky and wishing that all the time with him to happen again. I would not be able to bear that absence in my life…the absence of something great, something unforgettable, something different.

But the halt didn’t linger, the realization I made about how sad I would be dreaming wide awake and staring into the sky didn’t bother me anymore. I would rather have that absence later on while cherishing wonderful moments with him than putting an end to everything now and living the rest of my life in regret. No…I want to be with him and I will be as long as I am allowed to.

July 27, 2001. Since then we decided to stay together and made sure everyday counts. We want to make the most of everything every single minute. We enjoyed it both and loved each other more and more. We visited places together, did grocery together, brushed our teeth together, and woke up every morning seeing each other's face. How perfect it was to have somebody beside you anytime, someone you love and want to share your life with is there by you.

But of course every love story has an end...in August 30, 2001 was the day, the ever gruesome day when I have to go back to Manila. The saddest day of my life. I would be leaving San Francisco and seeing him being left in the airport is not a happy sight. We said no tears that day, but it's just impossible. We can't help it. Staying calm when you have to say goodbye to somebody you have spent the most wonderful time of your life with is impossible.

When are we going to see each other again? For how long will we be apart? How sad would it be without him anymore? How would I go on now? How would he go on now? I just can't stop questioning myself these crazy things. Its crazy to fall in love and its even crazier to leave someone you love.

We can’t bear the thought. It’s not just difficult…it’s unbearable.

As soon as I got back to Manila, I fixed all things I have to fix and called him up. And surprised him with the question…"When is the soonest flight you can take to Manila?"

And from then on, everything changed from beautiful to wonderful to AMAZING!

October 2001 until January 2002 he stayed in Manila to meet my family and know more about my culture, and of course so we know more about each other. And in July 2002 we started our amazing life in Belgium.

Until now, the love we share is unbelievable. Like any other relationships we have our ups and downs. But we are just humans, humans with fantastic love for each other.

I love you Nico and I always will.