the 4Ns: neri nico niels & nina

The whole night after Nina’s birthday party, I was thinking how I will write my blog for her 3rd birthday. I can brag about her the whole blog but I want something different…something special.

Monday in the train going to and coming from work nothing is coming out of my head.
That evening in the car driving home, silence in my brain.
Yesterday evening in the kitchen while cooking dinner, blank.

Suddenly, while I was almost finished with my cooking, Nina came to me asking if she can use her CD player from Peter Ronald…she has her pacifier in her mouth…making it difficult to understand what she is saying. We usually tell her, “Nina take your tutje out and tell Mama again properly what you want” then she just simply takes it out and spits out her sentence in an understandable way.

Then it came into me! She is 3, we all tell her she is already a big girl now, but when you look at her with that pacifier in her mouth, she is also the same time a baby!

That’s how the title came into my head: The fine line between being a baby and a big girl.

And the rest followed…so read on:

“You’re a big girl now” we constantly tell Nina. Suddenly she doesn’t want to eat on her own.
“You’re a big girl now” we say again. Suddenly she cries every morning if it isn’t Mama who will bring her downstairs.
“But you’re a big girl now!” we emphasize to her. Suddenly she became a baby.

It’s maybe the pressure that we put on her that she has to suddenly be independent now that makes her want to be just a baby again instead of a big girl. Normally when we really don’t emphasize those words “BIG GIRL” she acts like one.

Pre-3rd Birthday situation:
She eats well on her own, she even rejects being helped!
She smiles every morning when we wake her up.
It isn’t a big deal for her to leave her pacifier and bear at home before going to school.
She even said that her pacifier should be in Spain with Sinterklaas!
She puts her jacket on her own.
She puts her shoes on and takes it out on her own.
All these things she has been doing already since she turned 2!

NOW, looks like she couldn’t do any of this without a little tear, a pout and a strong command, “YOU HAVE TO HELP ME, I CANT DO THAT!”

But I stand to my point that she IS already a BIG GIRL.

Proof Nr 1:
During her birthday party, her friend Elisa from the daycare was also there. She is about 6 months older than Nina but still pronounces her “R” as “W”. And here is Nina with a very good diction especially on pronouncing her “R”…or “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” (we call it here the rolling R), suddenly talks with a “W” too when she heard Elisa talk like that.

I think that she actually adjusts the way she does things depending on whoever she is dealing with…cause at that same moment I talked to her and she talked to me with a good pronunciation.

Just like how adults talk to kids against talking to another adult.

Proof Nr 2:
She can already make complicated (sentences for her age of course) that makes sense.

This early morning Nina started calling me (6:15am). I didn’t move an inch…then she started stamping on the wall with her feet…I heard Nico get up and went to her…they were having a mini discussion.

Afterwards when we were at the table eating breakfast, Nico talked to Nina:
Nico: “Nina, I don’t want to hear you stamping your feet against the wall again so early in the morning. You woke everybody up”

Nina: Laughed.

Nico: “It isn’t funny, I’m serious, you shouldn’t do that again!”

Nina answered: “It was a joke Papa”

Nico: “Joke? That isn’t a joke stamping your feet against the wall”

Then Nina replied: “That wasn’t against the wall! It was against the cabinet”

Nico: “Cabinet? I caught you doing it when I entered your room”

And Nina replied: “Dat is wel niet eerlijk hé dat je zeg dat ik tegen de muur stampde. En als jij dat zelf doet…hmp!”

(Thats not fair that you say I stamp my feet against the wall! And if you do that yourself…hmp!)

In situations like this, she even acts like a bigger girl…able to discuss already with Papa.

Proof Nr 3:
Last night while Nina and I was eating dinner (Niels fell asleep in the couch and Papa was not home yet) she said she is finished eating the food on her plate but she wants some more of MY PASTA! She stood up and sat on my lap (like a baby again) and wants me to feed her.

Since my pasta was almost finished, I gave in to her desire. I fed her the last 3 spoons of my pasta.

While the last one was on the way to her mouth, she suddenly started singing and raised her hand…so the spoon of pasta ended up on the floor.

As surprised as the pasta I said angrily “Oh Nina! Look what you did! Next time if you still want to eat, you stay on your own chair and you eat your pasta there on your own!”

Then I went on my knees to pick up the pasta and clean the floor.

Then Nina said “Oh sorry Mama, sorry Mama, Ik ga dat niet meer doen.”

(Oh sorry Mama, sorry Mama, Im not gonna do that again.)

She held my face with her cuuuute little hands and kissed me on the lip saying again “Oh Mama, sorry, Ik ga dat niet meer doen”

(Oh Mama, sorry. Im not gonna do that again.)

Well, I interpret this scenario in 2 different ways:
1. She is able to see her fault and excuse herself for doing so…sense of responsibility!
2. She wants to be sweet so I can continue feeding her and let her sit on my lap…manipulation!

I should say, this period which is like an “overgangsperiod” between being a baby and a big girl is not only difficult for the parents but for Nina as well.

Sometimes we tend to jump too easily back to what we are used to do instead of hanging on and be consistent with the new situation thus leading the child to confusion.

Well I have high hopes that this will pass like how it was with Niels and that this is just a phase of childhood and parenthood.

Nina is an active, smart and social little girl…but also sometimes a stubborn little baby.

But I guess we all have that character, 3 years or older…

When Nina is older and reads this blog…I already hear her saying “POT VOOR KOFFIE MAMA!

We love you Nina! Happy 3rd Birthday!

Mama, Papa and Niels

Normally, when a child has chickenpoks, the parents are more concerned than what's needed. The child, aside from the itchyness or slight fever, has almost no trouble at all with those famous red spots all over their body. It all looks worse than it really is.

Well, I have to say that Nina is proud of her red spots. One day, they went to the neighbors to play with the kids (already had chickenpoks years ago together with Niels) and she immediately pulled her shirt up to show them her tummy. She showed her arms and her legs as well while saying, "Look at my red spots, I have a lot! It's nice huh?"

One night during the beginning stage of the chickenpoks development she didnt want to go to sleep and started crying. I asked her why she didnt want to go sleep, and she answered "Because if I go to sleep then I will be itchy the whole night!" Poor little girl, she thinks sleeping makes her itchy...but I reassured her that I will put some cream on her so she will have less problem with the itch...and thanks goodness she agreed!

Aside from that one night, she didnt have any trouble at all, she still itches but its no big deal anymore.

And now that the wounds are healing, she is now allowed to jump into the pool!

Here is our Nina proudly showing her spots covered with cream: